The Gag

Two days. For two days, my Master had told me of a new task He had for me... This was to be the biggest yet, emotionally and mentally. I was given only the smallest of details; Be ready, with all your toys, at 10pm tomorrow night. See now, that to me meant that I would be on Skype with my Master, with our time differences it was always 10pm, so naturally that's what I thought was going to happen, and that, I could totally deal with... Later on in the day though I was advised to provide a towel and a bowl, in case I was sick during the task.Ok yes, now I'm worried. Very fucking worried. I've always refused to cry, even on camera for Master and now I might be physically sick?? FUCK.

My mind is already reeling with what could / might / maybe happen. Alone with the "be ready at 10pm" came advice that "you'll be given further instruction then" but that didn't stop me from asking questions, questions that Master had the choice to answer. Question 1; Will I be on Skype Master? "maybe".... (I read this as; yes, of course) Question 2; Will You be with me Master? "I'll be right here" (it was my way of asking if the Skype was with Him, but I read his answer to mean 'no, I wont be on Skype but I'll be right here...') Ohhh and the last straw in my mental mayhem?, being told that everything my Master knows about me has been gone through and no, what I will be asked is not mentioned on my Hard Limit List. (read as; you're really not going to like this, it'll push you VERY hard PLUS it may make you sick too hah!) Yes, I know... Over-analytical and wrong...

Now I'm convinced, CONVINCED that I'm on loan to somebody else on Skype and they are going to request something of me that not only have I not done before, but I have absolutely no reason to object in doing, because it'll serve my Master in doing it.

I carried this the whole afternoon and evening. I couldn't concentrate on anything I had to do,my mind kept coming back to the task. Who was it going to be? Ohhhh my god what if it was someone I didn't know, and worse; someone I did know and just didn't like?? What exactly are they going to ask me to do?? How can I do that - whatever it is - for someone I don't even like and smile through it??? I was getting a headache now at this stage.My real world life took longer then expected, and I had to contact my Master to ask Him if I may be a few minutes late... That KILLED me. I was so so psyched for whatever was going to happen that a small delay turned me into a shaking mess.

Eventually, I was sitting naked, with all my toys, my butt plug in my ass, and a towel by my side when I contacted Master to tell Him I was ready... Now I love my Master, I do, and I so completely understand and appreciate that He had to talk to me before explaining the task, it is His duty to make sure that I understand that I will be safe and that nothing that will happen is to harm me. I *know* this is my Masters duty to talk to me, but ohh my godddddddd that was the LONGEST ten minutes of my life. (anyone who hasn't experienced this before; all I can describe it is like the pause in time between being caught doing something wrong, and being punished for it... Its the same Heart-racing, sweating, nervous energy)

And before I knew it, there it was in black and white. I'm not in Skype tonight, I'm going to be given a task that for every part of, I am to take a picture of. Once all pictures are taken I am to send them to Master. Once these are acknowledged, I am to tweet my task and what I had to do. Then contact Master again. Only THEN is my task complete.

Are you fucking kidding me?? SERIOUSLY?? I went from doing unspeakable things with a stranger in a camera to TAKING PICTURES?? What the fucking fuck...Wait, what?? Take pictures of what now?? I think I'm going to be sick. The hell I put myself though was the first thing that hit me. The absolute hell I went through in my own head was the first thing. The second was what I actually had to do... Granted, it was never a Hard Limit but fuck me, it was tops on my ThatsJustGross List and I never did it or wanted to. but then, isn't the part of the point too?? Two pictures, that's all I needed. I can do this. I CAN DO IT.

When you have done it, send the pics, then you must tweet every detail then. And thank your Master for the task and being allowed serve this way.  

This is the task; you are to take a pic of the plug in your ass then remove it and immediately shove it in your mouth and take a pic... it must go in to the base. 

If you gag, take it out, throw up, and try again. You may not wash or wipe it first. If you cannot after four tries get it in, you will still be considered successful.  

When you are done, reinsert it in your ass and begin to tweet. That is all. Do you understand?

Ok, I didn't like Him an awful lot but all I craved - and really still do - is to be held by Him after that.

And now I feel weak, and tired, and like a lead-weight and still kinda upset, but y'know what?, Ohh my god did I make Him so proud of me today. And for that, for just that, A2M may just happen again

............ in like a year. Maybe two.