HotDog Machine

As some of you may already know from my FetLife account that I am lucky enough to not only have a fantastic Sir but I also have a TaskMaster who assigns me great tasks to complete for Him every so often... Pics of past tasks are already on FL and this one is no different.

Actually scrap that - this is WAY different lol!! Here's my latest task;

"Cook a hotdog, let it cool to body temperature, stuff it in your ass. Fill your ass with a ketchup squeeze bottle and then squeeze the hotdog out through the ketchup and into a bun. The hotdog should be nicely smeared with ketchup and then bon appetit"

As you can see it wasn't the easiest and to date, certainly the messiest task I've been given LOL. The pictures above are from my first attempt while *also* stopping to take the pics each step of the way... I knew it wasn't perfect but  nothing short of a ketchup enema would have been (and no, that was NOT an option unless completely last resort!) Pictures taken, including of my eating said hotdog were sent to TaskMaster and I wanted patiently for a reply. Well, patiently and with a feint smell of tomatoes and smoked sausage meat (was it just me or was this stuff just NOT washing off?!?!)

Reply received - pictures were good! Now, rainy, you're not finished yet - lets try TWO hotdogs this time - same task but double stuffed, as such...

This was fun! I had gotten used to the feeling, the coolness (as in cold not as in trendy!) and the waft of ketchup, surely two hotdogs would be a breeze no? No........

Two hotdogs... No problem... Careful not to move too much though!, they're not terribly robust for meat products... Careful!!!!!

A slight twist, one small movement too many and one of the hotdogs broke; half of it to the floor, the other half still where I had pushed it minutes beforehand.

Its ok you can laugh. Both my Master and my TaskMaster did! Needless to say, I completed the parts of the task that I could at that point and still with the half-hotdog inside me, sent pics to TM and told Him what had happened, awaiting further instruction (and if I'm honest; reassurance that I don't need hospitalisation)...

Good news came quickly in reply to my latest attempts - my task was completed to the satisfaction of my TaskMaster and he had indeed assured me that my body will predictably right itself in due course.

It was a great task, it was a strange task and certainly one I would have no reservations about completing again now that I've been through it once (though I would maybe me quite cautious about "double stuffing" anything again!)

Sub-Drop

Firstly, I think, my view and experience of "sub-drop" was from the very few times I had experienced it, had all materialised the same way and I had definately made the mistake of thinking that how I had experienced it was the only way it would EVER be for me. I had thought that once I had learned to accept it and deal properly with it, then I was home-free for any playing that I or my Owner wanted for me. WRONG. Umm yeah like really wrong.

This last month, more then any other, Has stretched me emotionally and mentally further then i've ever been and this is a short blog about the ups and downs of the specific task of cutting.

I've recently started cutting again and at first it didnt really have either the buzz of a high or a drop of the low for me. Saying that though, it only took days to start feeling happily dizzy / floaty from the release of pain cutting was giving me and was fortunate enough to scrape by with minimal "feeling very subby" drops from it afterwards. The cuts continued, deeper now, hurting longer but also making me float longer mentally. The drop though seemed stronger - moving from feeling subby to being actually really very low and almost too depressed / scared to move too far from my Owners radar or to openly want to talk / be with anybody else.

For the most part though, there was never very long between feeling like this and being allowed climb into bed for the night and sleep the worst of it off.

Unfortunately with my most recent cuts, nothing of what I thought was "the norm" came to be true at all. The light-headedness from cutting was increased to the point of my physically melting, with not one but three hard glass-plug anally orientated orgasms. The first one had left me almost hyper. The second hadn't lasted long but was intense enough to make me cry and after that, the rest went very quickly down hill for my emotional and mental state. The third orgasm was forced through tears and was more mechanically done then enjoyed the way it should have been. I was just so upset.

For the first time in a long time, I genuinelly could not pin-point where the sudden sadness had come from or why. At this time too, I was online and watching a D/s Q&A on my time-line that I very soon realised I didnt know any of the answers to. This upset me SO much. I honestly felt like the questions being asked were obvious things I should know as a slave and that the fact I couldn't answer them was putting my personal safety at risk. this scared me. Being this scared upset me more. It went as far as my suggestion to my Owner that it really was alright to NOT loan me out to anyone any more because of it and the kicker is that even now, I still think what I was feeling then was right, that I had a point and that even though I wasn't in my completely rational mental state, what I was trying to express was right.

Even now I think "Yeah it was crazy but I *did* hav a point... Didnt I?!"

I was sent to bed to sleep soon after that. I dont blame my Owner for that decision either - He knew what was happening immediately even when I still didn't. This morning I woke up almost "normal". Sore, from the cuts, but not introverted or especially subby. And yes, I still think that the points I was making still apply, but the upset of them and the paranoid over-analysis of my submissiveness was definitely new and very scarey. Its a whole new "drop" for me and not one that I want to go through again soon.

Sub-dropping isn't only about feeling a sadness and loss for the emotional, physical and mental climax that playing has caused. It changes as much as the reasons for the sub-high. Even typing that has made me shiver thinking how much I don't want to be dropping again. Fact is though; there is NO drop worth the sacrifice of the high that caused it or how proud I've made my Owner by the task I completed to get there.

((PICS: most recent cuts))

First Dates

I'm glad I had arrived early. It gave me time to take a breath and reminisce in a dark metal music bar that I haven't been to in years, and funnily enough, was with the same date then too.

Deep breath. Omg he hasn't changes at all! Mmm hello Sir...

At first it's just like old times, and I know it shouldn't be, I'm a different person now. I'm owned and not by him. He's a Dom and had never seen the real slave me... It'll be different for us both. Conversation flowed easily and I caught him smiling at me occasionally. I knew well he was thinking about my locked cunt and all the things I could do under his control. I smiled sweetly, handed him a key to the lock and thanked him again on my Masters behalf for wanting to use me, before sitting legs apart, knowing how much he wanted to see it, touch it and couldn't here at the bar...

This made me laugh and further conversations, though dotted with kisses and touching, brought out my cheeky side - I'd had no idea what this would mean for me or how dearly I'd pay till we got back to his flat later. While in the taxi on the way there he made no issue with openly looking for and finding my lock too....

Back at the apartment after music was played and I felt a little more relaxed, as he kissed me I saw a flash in his eye that I had never seen before "So i have your key and you're back home with me...You are mine now to abuse as I see fit aren't you" I physically shivered. After a long deep kiss, he moved to stand behind me demanding I strip while he sat for what felt like the longest time, just looking, smiling, and eventually taking the first of many pictures.

My first duty was dropping to my knees to lick and suck him hard.. Pulling at my hair he pushed deeper and with more force then I think I was prepared for and I started choking and gagging on his thick cock. Pulling me to my feet, he then sat me on his kitchen counter and pushed me backwards to lie down across it and as he stood over my head he pushed harder and faster again down my throat. I was still choking and still gagging but I had never been so turned on or wet in my life so without thinking, I moved to finger myself through my piercings and lock. This turned him on even more to watch and as he beat my face with his hot wet cock more pictures were taken... 

After some time though I think he must have remembered my earlier lip at the bar because he pulled me up again and growled at me to bend over the counter and not to dare move. His hand came down hard and fast dozens of times until I was jumping yelping with each blow and begging / bartering for forgiveness. Pulling my hair back hard he reminded me how I deserved this. How I've had this coming for a long time now and I deserved this. My head hit the counter again and he warned me not to move from that position as he left the room. He soon came back and without letting me see what he was holding, quickly tied my arms behind my back and as i squirmed, he slammed a leather tawse on the counter beside my face. I think then I stopped breathing. I didn't scream or cry out - I was too afraid to! Picking it up again he wasted no time using it on me, the first few hits making me physically lurch off the counter top so much that he pinned me by the hair back down and kept going... Looking back on it now I still think I "wussed out" and soon after during my floods of tears he picked me up and held me.

Cleaned up, a little more relaxed and very sore, he lead me to his bedroom and sat me in the very centre against the head  rails and quickly tied both arms against the top rail from elbow to wrist, and again, admired his handy work for a while, taking pics and smiling the whole time... Various positions were requested and I complied whole-heartily and before I knew it, my ankles were tied too and he was sitting in front of me closely admiring my piercings and lock. Admiration became touching and after carefully unlocking and removing the padlock, touching became fingering and fingering soon made me gasp for more... A small vibrator was retrieved and while my ass was stretched with his fingers, it was pressed against my clit and two orgasms later I was a puddle of goo. 

Curling up beside him in the bed later, a taxi was arranged for me to leave and literally minutes before it had arrived, I was being pulled over again to put my mouth and tongue to good use. It was beyond horny and I swallowed hard. What had started out as fingering me afterwards had soon turned into a VERY intense orgasm of watching his fingers play me through big mirrors in his room... I couldn't take any more!! Breathing hard I begged him to fuck me before I had to leave and he did not hesitate or disappoint. Amazing hard fast heavy sex followed and minutes later, the phone rings and my taxi awaits...

All in all it was amazing, unexpectedly great and definitely something I would like to be allowed do again. I know my Owner is pleased by my enjoyment last night which is really the greatest news I could have ever been told.